Twenty-seven. Gay. Writer. Over thinker. And sometimes over sharer.
Ok, Ok, Ok...I'm Thirty-Six, I just feel like I'm still Twenty-Seven and still in my prime. But I'm not. In Gay years anyways. But I'm happy...Now!
Based in Melbourne where I'm currently in the midst of writing my first book, my memoir, "Within These Walls".
I'm a wanderer. I've called Adelaide, Sydney, Vancouver, London and now beautiful Melbourne home, and I have traveled throughout Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia, Vietnam, the USA, Canada, Mexico, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and a little of Europe. And a few other places in between.
Equality. Dog Lover. Vegetarian. Talker of nothing of importance, but everything that's important. I rarely edit my truth and I wear my heart on my sleeve which gets me into trouble, because life it too short to be edited. I follow my heart and my instincts. Loyal. Monogamist [the gay community gasps in response].
Gutter Mouth. Filthy mind. Hopefully funny. Good manners goes a long way. Take me as who I am and what you see. I make no apologies. Unless required.
I am, Shane Cunningham.
STATUS: WRITING - 2ND DRAFT
A BOOK | A MEMOIR
Within These Walls
A lot of what has been written I have never told a soul. I’ve sat in my thoughts for far too long and I’ve been drowning in that deep dark abyss that is depression for most of my life. It’s now time to come up for that much needed air and share my journey of rediscovering my darkest secrets and reliving some of life’s harshest moments in order for me to finally process my shit and finally disconnect that cord.
Within These Walls is a tale of self discovery from growing up in a small-minded country town and battling my own demons while unable to fit the Australian male stereotype and the persecution that comes with that from inside a small country community. I touch on my relationship with my mother and my three sisters as well as the discovery of my biological father through a best-selling book based on one of Australia’s largest media storms and then my brief, but memorable, contact with the man I never knew, and then ultimately discovering who he was in life after his sudden death.
I share my journey into adulthood from becoming an adult at sixteen after escaping country life and relocating to the city of Adelaide where I was to explore my sexual desires and ultimately continue my downward spiral. Then came Sydney at nineteen and by the time I had hit my thirties I had traveled the world, calling both Canada and the UK home before returning to Sydney where I would settle until my much needed escape to Melbourne at thirty-one. But it was Sydney, Australia’s largest city, where I was to discover my sexuality and get the true taste of a homosexual lifestyle, yet still hidden in shame. Not always positive, the seedy undertones of gay life, mixed with a continued negative outlook, began to take it’s toll.
I outline my never ending battle with mental illness, my obsession with my own death which began in primary school, and several of my suicide attempts. I take you inside my sometimes fragile, but dream-like, over-thinking mind and I let you stand beside me during some of my harshest realities. Mixed with an ongoing daily battle with body dysphoria, my issues with alcohol which prove to be hereditary, my inability to find and sustain male relationships due to the walls I constantly build and my long association with self-sabotaging and my obsession with sex and the graphic consequences that comes with that at such an early age and not to mention my inability to trust and ultimately find love, the one thing I soo desperately want. I take you on my adventures in-and-out of the bedroom, my travels around the world, an insight into my first and only gay relationship, gut-wrenching heartache that makes life seem unlivable and finish where I stand today; at thirty-four, single and only just beginning to discover who I truly am and only just coming to terms with the traumas of my past. But now happy in my own skin.
Within These Walls is a story of despair, truth, hope and ultimately coming out the other side of difficult situations and surviving the odds in a world where you’re unsure you belong. It’s a coming out story in a coming of age way where the road to finding ones self-worth can be never ending and the realization that perfection will never be achieved. It’s a story of triumph through struggles and ultimately owning our mistakes in life is sometimes the only way we’re able to move forward. I let you witness my harsh realities of gay life, while again not fitting a stereotype and my experimentation with illicit substances. It’s simply a no-holds barred, funny and not funny, account of life as some of us know it.
We all have our own story to tell. This is simply mine.
“There was a period of about five years while growing up that every single room I’d venture into, no matter where it was, I would map out how it could accommodate my death. I needed to know I had a way out if things got too much. I needed to know where that noose I constantly carried around my neck was going to hang.”
“Discovering who my biological father was by reading a Schapelle Corby book, unaware of the personal connection of the man in the photograph all those years ago, and then making contact was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Then walking through his home and touching his things after his death was a feeling like no other.”
A Blog. My outlet. From my Personal Perspective.
A series of frustrations about life as a gay male. About other gays. About the soo called community. About bullshit. About love. About heartbreak.
Adventures. Sex. Love. Friendship.
(Most Recent Posts)
23/05/19: Death By Hate, Death By Ignorance
19/05/19: The Gays Are Revolting
21/04/19: Content Please!
29/09/18: Roles We Play & The Selfish Other Half
21/03/18: A Final Trip..
12/03/19: Within These Walls: A Memoir
10/2/18: Life Does Go On, I know..
24/1/18: Welcome to Bangcock!
17/1/18: A Painful Heartbreak
IF YOU DARE
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+61 (0) 432 547 890
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